Nanny in New York

If you know me, you probably also know how much of a dreamer I am. You've heard all my crazy plans and watched me chase a lot of crazy dreams just to move on to another crazy dream. I had a bit of a wake up call recently what I realized that I am almost 20 years old and no closer to knowing what I want to be when I grow up than I was when I was 4. And when I was 4 I wanted to be a professional princess. (Ok, so I still think if possible ways for me to become an actual princess, but that's beside the point.) I realized that I can chase dream after dream after dream, but if I dont find one that I love enough to finish and one that sticks (and pays the bills) then Im going to have some problems. SO. I have this new plan. One that may still be a little crazy, but hey, would you ever expect anything less from me?! :) You can probably figure out what this new plan is from my fun little title. Yes, I want to move to NYC and be a nanny. Im possibly graduating in the spring and I've always wanted to live in NYC for a year or so. What better way than to find a live in nanny job! It gives me a job and a place to live and keeps me from being completely alone in a giant city I've never been to before.  I am so excited I can hardly stand it. I've always been fascinated with New York. I've lived in the itty bitty town of Montevallo for as long as I can remember. The largest city Ive navigated on my own is downtown Birmingham and that hardly counts. The prospect of living on my own in this gigantic place I've neer been to has me speechlessly excited. I still have a year of school (possibly 2) and then I have to apply to jobs and get hired. There are still a lot of ifs and fuzzy places and Im not sure where the life plan goes from there, but thats ok! I apologize in advance if all I ever talk about between now and when I actually move is New York, but if you only knew how excited I am, you might understand. This is a rather new development in the life of me, but it's now what I want and what I am working for. If the plan changes, then it changes, but Im really hoping this one sticks :) Either way, itll be fun to look back a year from now and see what the plan actually turns out to be!

xoxo

Happiness isn't a Destination.

My brain is incredibly scattered and that means that this post will more than likely be a bit scattered as well. Hang with me. I've been thinking a lot about happiness and unhappiness and where (besides Jesus, obviously) happiness comes from and how to deal with times of unhappiness and what not. There is this part of an episode of One Tree Hill where they talk about happiness as being an emotion rather than a destination or a thing that can be obtained. Clearly, OTH isn't exactly what I should be basing my thoughs about life on, but it made a good point. Life is hard. That is inevitable and I feel like a lot of people "just want to be happy." They want a certain car or a certain job or to live in a certain place or to be with a certain person. In most cases, people think that happiness is ALL of these things combined. If they just had this pretty picture of a life that they've imagined, then they would just be happy. NEWSFLASH. That isn't how life works. Happiness is an emotion and a fleeting one at that. Life has ups and downs and even when it seems like we have all the things we could possibly want, there will still be times when things are just plain hard and happiness is nowhere to be found.  I think it helps to think about happiness that way. It helps thinking of it as something that can't really be obtained. You can have happiness. TONS of it even, but there is no way (earthly way, that is) to ensure constant happiness. There is nothing of this world that can satisfy us enough to where we are content. If we run around the world looking for things to make us happy, the world will always let us down. You might be happy for a while, but you're eventually going to run back into some unhappiness somewhere along the way. God never promises that we won't go through hard times, he just promises to be with us every step of the way. He'd never throw something at us that we couldn't handle. I have found that when things seem too hard for me, it's usually because I have the mindset that I can do it alone. Without God. The reality is that I can't do anything without Him.  He is the center of all happiness and the only thing that will never let me down. The only thing that will satisfy me fully.  The only sure thing to lean on during the times of unhappiness so that you can get through to the happy.

So there's one topic.

I just cant handle people who won't deal with stuff. People who just straight up give up when they don't know what to say or how to get through something or they just don't want to face whatever it is that they need to handle. I. Cant. Stand. It. And here are a few reasons why.

1) It's selfish
2) It hurts you and the others involved
3) It fixes absolutely NOTHING

Don't run away when things get difficult. Face it and deal with things before they get worse than they have to be. I've seen this happen over and over and over again.  Life gets tough (unhappiness) and instead of just fixing it and dealing with it then and there, people put it off and ignore it and make excuses and it spirals until it's some huge ordeal that wasn't there in the first place. And that's really annoying for everyone involved.

Rant over.

One more.

Sometimes I get restless. It happens. I want to get away and have an adventure. I want to get out of my hometown and go get lost somewhere I've never been. But I can't let these desires to get away distract me from what God has for me here. I can't get so focused on getting out and leaving that I miss out on the opportunities to share the gospel or to help someone. I am where I am for a purpose. God has me here for a reason and I need to be focused on finding that purpose and fulfilling it.  If God's plan takes me elseswhere, then I will go. But for right now, my home is in Montevallo, Alabama and there is a reason for that. Not saying that there is something wrong with getting away and having an adventure, but I never want to get so set on leaving that I miss out on what the Lord might use me to do here.

Ok, Im finished :)
xoxoxo